Untitled, TT

I am utterly horrible at money management..I mean, really bad. I fear for my future. Though, I’m fairly certain I inherited/learned this behavior from my father.
When I am slow at work, for an extended period of time, I start getting nervous about my positions’ future.
I know the only person to throw a butter knife at HuskyJon and live to tell about it.
I have multiple sources at my disposal for learning and certifications, which would give me a leg up in this market, free of charge….but I can’t make myself sit down and study.
I flunked out of college. See above bullet.
I’m refinancing my house. It should drop my payment about $200+ a month, and shave 30 years off of the length…but the more they continue to ask me for papers and get annoying, the more I want to say fuck it…because I’m that lazy when it comes to paperwork.
I didn’t stop and get another pack of smokes on the way into work today, because I’m slowly trying to quit…I’m regretting that decision more by the minute.